1982, Ladies and Gentlemen.
Considered to be the greatest of all the years in all the decades of the world by myself and countless other people that were born that year with me, 1982 was chock full of amazingness. In 1982, Olivia Newton John shrugged off her Grease-y good girl role and created one of the greatest music videos ever with her Number 1 Hit, Let’s Get Physical. It was in 1982 that Joe “I Don’t Like The Heart Warming Story of Rudy” Montana led his San Francisco 49′ers to Super Bowl Victory against the Cincinnati Bengals. In 1982, America’s greatest actor – again, according to the most credible of all sources, myself – Harrison Ford, led a small, violent rebellion against a hidden army of insidious replicants in Blade Runner.
But my friends, none of the above events listed above would hold a candle to what would quickly become the greatest fast food invention mankind would ever know. For you see, it was in 1982 (some argue 1981, but screw 1981. I wasn’t alive, so it doesn’t count.) that the McRib sandwich was first introduced into McDonald’s lineup. After several successful years, the McRib was heart-breakingly taken out of the official lineup for such shadowy, unintelligible reasons as: “poor sales,” “horrendous nutritional content,” and that “the McRib didn’t even consist of any actual ribs.” The legendary sandwich made re-emerged from oblivion last in 1994 for a very limited time. Many thought that would be the last any self-respecting person of larger carriage would see the national treasure… until now.
The McRib sandwich has returned.
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Full disclosure now that you’ve hit the jump: You’re going to be mad at me.
The reason that McDonalds has decided to put their mythical monstrosity back on the marquee next week, starting on November 2nd?
This is the McRib’s farewell tour.
Yes, it seems that while McDonalds appreciates such fervently devout fan devotion that actually led grown (read: portly, old) men to travel from city to city, town to town in order to track one down… they’ve finally grown tired of dealing with it. And while this isn’t the first McRib farewell tour (actually there have been three previous tours where McDonalds has attempted to kill the barbecued beast for good, McDonalds SWEARS they’re being serious about it this time.
Starting Nov. 2nd, you’ll have 6 weeks to eat as many of these beauties as you can before they go the way of the dino and Charlie Sheen’s career.
Good luck, brave fast food explorers. As aid to you in your quest to clog your arteries without exerting yourself too much, I will provide you with these two helpful links:
- The Official McRib wiki – Yes, there is indeed a McRib Wiki page.
- The McRib locator page – Countless people have made pilgrimages across the country to track down a McRib. Now, you don’t have to.
Thanks yet again to McRib loyalist Squ1shy for the find. Chances are pretty good that if your local McDonalds tells you they’ve already run out of their supply of sandwiches next week, it’s because Squ1shy has successfully begun stockpiling his basement.
